At this point I’ve given up. At least 20 people I know probably read this blog, my screwed up patch of the internet. So fuck it…….
The truth is I still hate myself, I’m still depressed, still have anxiety, still think everyone hates me, still alone and still think about dying.
I just wanted to be ok for a little bit you know. Just wanted to feel real true non bullshit happiness.
But that’s not really working.
I’m currently ill off school and that always makes it worse, because I start to realize how little I am really needed. The world would go on spinning perfectly and no one would even notice. But of course I’m too cowardly to actually do it.
So I just carry on being unwanted and unneeded.
Doesn’t even matter anymore.
Also I’m back blogging because this is the only thing the seems to keep me sane.