“I have the choice of being constantly active and happy or introspectively passive and sad. Or I can go mad by ricocheting in between.”
Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath
My day in court was the worst day of my life.
The prosecution bombarded me with questions.
‘Were you and Mr Kanon in a relationship?’
‘Were you aware of the laws put in place regarding intimate relations?’
‘Did Mr Kanon ever force you into anything?’
At the end of it all I stood up. ‘May I make one final statement?’ I asked, readying myself for what I was about to do.
‘Why of course my dear.’ Replied the prosecutor. She was an ugly woman in her late 40’s. Her green jacket was especially unbecoming.
‘I love that boy. I love him. And I don’t care what anyone thinks. I don’t care if you think I am too young to understand love, because I know in myself that I love him.’ I started. ‘You’re about it send an innocent boy to prison and it isn’t fair. Because I am ok. I made the choice myself. And I don’t care what some stupid law says. When you love someone you want to be as close as you can to them in every way possible, and so that’s what I did. I apologize for loving him too much. I apologize for wanting to express my love. Apparently love isn’t enough anymore. And I hate that. Because love is love. It is the most magical and amazing thing in the world. But apparently it isn’t enough anymore.’ I then got down from the witness box and walked away. But just before I left I did one last thing. I looked Jack right in the eye and recited a poem I wrote after he got arrested.
‘I wish I could just stay in your arms,
That we could just be here forever,
I hope that this will be enough.
Because there is nothing I can do,
All I can give you is now,
This moment in time.
I pray that holding me will be enough for you,
And that being held will be enough for me.’
Thank you to everyone who has supported me in this project. I felt this was an apt end to an intense series. I hope you enjoyed the series. Hopefully there will be a project starting in a few weeks, and I hope you keep an eye out for that.
Thanks for everything
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Laugh til you cry, love til you die.