This is a short open letter to someone in my life. Luckily they don’t know this little blog of mine exists, but I needed to write down how I felt and I thought here is the best place for me to do it.
I don’t know why I’m angry. But I am. Because I hate you. And she is a decent person, and your hateful personality shouldn’t have to seep into her. She doesn’t deserve to have to know you, let alone touch you, kiss you. But I think it is more than that. I think I still like you. Which says a tonne of things about me, e.g. I clearly like to feel bad about myself or like to spend time with people who make me hate myself, but it also says something about you. You suck people in and now I’m stuck. Hating you. Liking you. I don’t know any more. I don’t know how I feel about anything anymore. I’m too busy hating myself to care about my feelings.
Also for the record, she never liked you. She told me herself she wasn’t into you at all and only saw you as a friend. And I’m sorry if saying that makes me sound bitter. Its not like anything happened between us. But maybe in a way my longing became a fake reality for me to live in.
I’m sorry that I’m not boring enough for you. That I’m not a flirty girly girl, who acts weak so boys like her. I’m sorry I’m not pretty enough or skinny enough for you. But the truth is I’m too good for you and you can’t see it, because to be frank you are a complete idiot.
Playlist email@example.com @Writer_X9
Laugh til you cry, love til you die.