Hey. This is a repost of something from a few weeks ago that I made some tweaks to. So a little while ago I started writing a novel about my experiences as a teenager, but sadly by Chapter 3 I became so over run with school work that it became hard for me to get anymore work done on it. So I thought I would release a little section from it on here as a little taster of what is to come.
I have grown up in a world where love isn’t love. It isn’t what it should be, it isn’t truth or hope or anything worthwhile. I have dreamt on many an occasion of leaving my timeframe and living in another age, when love was everything I wish it to be. The irony of course is that love in years previous to my birth wasn’t everything I wish it to be, but quite the opposite with arranged marriage and other tortures. I think it’s only human nature to want to change ones place in this world and therefore I humour my thoughts, by imagining myself in multiple different times with different opinions of love and hope and all else. I dream of being a princess with her pick of any gorgeous, brutish male courtesans, of being a governess in love with a handsome widower and of being a brazen 20’s girl from a wealthy family who attends every party. But I always have to come back to my world, a world of love and lust and choices to be made.
Nothings ever quite perfect really, it’s always too much of this and too little of that. Despite the freedom that comes with my life and my timeframe there are still some things, things that are holding me back from what I wish to have. I believe many of these things are to do with fate or destiny or whatever is the current belief of the masses is.
The most honest statement I can make is that I am average, just another one of the young and damned. Blonde hair, blue eyes and filled with knowledge. But I suppose that’s the consistency of humans; we may look different but we are all just vessels filled with knowledge. I don’t feel as if I have any extraordinary talents or gifts. Just an average 2000 girl, that’s the only noticeable thing about me. I would like to be able to blame my lack of confidence and self-belief on society and the media or whatever everyone believes but, the truth is that it isn’t the cause of my lack of self-worth. It’s really just who I have become. I am not the only one who feels this way of course, however I appear to be one of the worst sufferers of this unnamed condition every child born in my time has to battle and struggle against. Life in this world isn’t simple or easy, but I’m damn well giving it a go.
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Laugh til you cry, love til you die.