So since it was valentines day a few days ago I have been thinking a lot about the romantic choices I have made in the last few years. To be honest I haven’t been the best judge of character with boys recently. There are so many things I wish I could say to some of the guys from my past. So I decided to write some open letters to 3 guys who will remain anonymous for obvious reasons.
I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I miss you a lot. The way things ended between us was good, but I wish that I could have said goodbye. Every time I walk to the train station I wonder if you are going to walk past me and say hi. I miss our chats, I miss how you used to make me laugh. I popped into see you at the hall a while ago and you weren’t there, so I told Sophie to tell you goodbye. I hope she told you. I think you were the first guy I ever loved and it sucks because I still love you as a friend. I hope that in a years time we might bump into each other and we will be completely different people, and maybe we can start again. The last day when we sitting on the floor just chatting for like 20 minutes, you made me laugh so much. I think you saw it. I think you saw what you meant to me and I’m glad you did. Because you’re a good person and you deserve to know how much you are loved.
You are the most disgusting person I have ever met. I hate you, I hate you so much. You treat girls like they are pieces of meat. When you tried to apologize to me, I wanted to hit you. I wanted to scream in your face. You are the reason that boys have a bad reputation. No one deserves to know you and deal with your arrogant, evil, misogynistic personality. I hate everything about you. That stupid goofy smile draws people in and then you spit them back out.
I have feelings for you. It sucks because you like her. I liked you before you dated her and I still like you now. When you walked over and sat down next to me I had to hold myself down. It was as though my lips demanded to be on yours. I can’t stop thinking about you. And I hate it all so much because you can’t get over her. She is my friend and she wants us to be together. She is over you and she is happy and she wants me to be happy. My whole life I have been the ghost best friend. All the boys look at her and I am invisible. I wish there was something I could do to make you get over her and be with me. But I can’t. The world isn’t a wish granting factory. Your eyes, your face, your hair, they all entice me. And now I’m stuck. Alone. Liking the wrong person, at the wrong time.
Laugh til you cry, love til you die.